Here at PSLove, we aren’t just about MenstruHeat or helping with menstrual cramps. Our main mission is to care for females – empowering women and caring for women’s needs! MenstruHeat is our practical solution to a common physical female struggle: facing pain almost every month.
We noticed that there has been a rise in conversations around PMS. The good thing is, conversations around period and its effects have increased lately, so people are more aware about pre, present and post-menstrual symptoms (PMS). Everybody now knows what PMS is, but most of the focus seems to be on cramps and…being a b*tch?
That’s probably how most people would portray moodswings and PMS: a day or two every month where a woman may get hypersensitive, irrational and illogical. In fact, some people use the term ‘pms’ and ‘mood swing’ interchangeably because mood swings are one of the more popular symptoms, though in fact ‘pms’ usually means ‘pre-menstrual symptoms’.
So evidently there is a rise in awareness and openness in discussing periods and pms, but instead of becoming more understanding towards women and the symptoms they face monthly, sometimes people twist it to use it as a tool to discredit our voices.
Granted, yes, we agree, if a woman is legitimately using pms as an unjust excuse to hurt someone intentionally, then that’s pretty screwed up. Also, if a woman’s pms is so bad naturally that it legitimately causes her to get extreme moodiness, then maybe seeking medical help could be effective too. I’m sure the former group of people do exist, and as a woman myself, I do agree that it is a cause that is worthy to get pissed over.
But back to using pms to discredit women’s voices. Have you ever experienced or witnessed a time where a woman got upset, and another person (usually a male) says something like, “Geez, you must be on your period”. Even if it’s said politely. “Hey, sorry uh, are you on your period?”
*Slaps other person in a fit of pms*
Society seems to associate all the times a woman is upset, opinionated or difficult to when she has her period. And sometimes when a woman is showing her emotions or views strongly, it is discredited as an irrational statement because she “must” be on her period. Here’s what urban dictionary defines pms as (emphasis added):
“The worst time to be around a woman, because she becomes an irrational psycho bitch which froths at the mouth with rage and seeks to destroy anything which stands in her way.”
“A powerful spell that women are put under about once every month, which gives them the strength of an ox, the stability of a Window’s OS, and the scream of a banshee. Basically, man’s worst nightmare.”
“The transformation of a woman to beast, occurring once every month. Similar to the werewolf, a PMSing woman becomes a dog-like creature capable only of eating, sleeping, barking, annoying the neighbors, and leaving messes that she expects you to clean up.”
What…really? And what is up with degrading women to be compared to animals and characteristics of animals? “Froths at the mouth”, “strength of an ox”, “beast”, “werewolf”, “dog-like”… I can’t imagine that a woman herself would have written those above. That’s why this one below is my favourite, though it may be equally crude (emphasis added):
“PMS stands for premenstrual syndrome, but it can even occur during or after menstruation. Symptoms of PMS include abdominal cramps, bloating, irritability, breast tenderness, occasional cravings for sweet or very salty foods, and hormonal imbalances that cause mood swings.
Since males don’t have periods, they act like insensitive jackasses when the women around them are suffering from PMS. Those stuck-up dickless monkeys can’t get any ass, so they call their girlfriends bitches and blow everything out of proportion. Sure, sometimes PMS can cause a girl to get a little bitchy, but those douchebags act like a PMSing woman is a nuclear bomb that’s been unleashed on the city. All they think about is themselves, they don’t even give a crap when their girl is crying out in pain because the girl is just “being a dramatic bitch”.
A guy will accuse a girl of PMSing even if she gets mad at him for something that’s his own fault, such as being a complete dickhole.”
I love how the above contributor goes from calm, composed and objective in the first paragraph, immediately to ‘what in the world is wrong with these men?!’. And her (I’m assuming she’s a female, quite obviously) points are completely relatable to many women.
Has this got something to do with feminism? That we aren’t used to a woman speaking her mind or her heart openly? Are men also affected by sexism and hence need to constantly find a way to discount women’s speech in order not to feel threatened? (Btw, go Emma Watson on the He For She campaign!)
We all play a role in gender equality and just, being a decent human being in general. First of all, we shouldn’t fake PMS, and take preventive measures to manage the mood swings. For example, I know that I tend to get moody when I don’t have enough rest, so when I feel my temper or emotions bubbling up I immediately make a mental note to take a nap as soon as possible or sleep earlier that night. Just taking a break and having some alone time helps too.
There are teas available to help you deal with the symptoms, and a specific “PMS tea” even to help with the mood swings. Sometimes, the discomfort from other symptoms may worsen your mental and emotional state, so take the effort to manage those too. You can exercise, mind your diet, whip up your own home remedy or even turn to traditional medicine.
Phew, a little more under control now.
To others who are not experiencing their periods at the time a woman is, especially men, you can help your girl with all of the above. Because no matter how difficult we become, pms is real. I bet a vast majority of us don’t fake our symptoms because our uterus is REALLY ripping its innards apart and sending its remnants down. We literally bleed it out. And as if the physical symptoms aren’t enough, our hormones go a little bonkers and affect our brain chemistry as well. Yes, the mood swings are biological, i.e. it’s difficult as heck to control.
So be little more understanding, considerate, and know that women also have the right to voice their opinions and thoughts regardless of whether they are having their PMS or not. Sure, it is on us to say it in a way that doesn’t hurt others, but it is also hurtful and infuriating when what we have to say is belittled or nullified by a simple “whatever…she must be on her period.” It’s hurtful and infuriating both when we’re really having PMS and when we’re wrongly accused of it when we’re not.
Now when someone says that…
So let’s all be considerate, and above all just STOP the “are you on your period?”, “she must be on her period”, “that’s definitely her period” etc, even it if really is. It does not help at all!
And to everybody who are going to be near a woman on her period and having pms,
Thank you for those who stick by, who make the period pains, cramps and moodiness more bearable, and who love us no matter what.